Probably for the first time in my life, I feel I don't know whats my target is. Ever since I have tried to realize myself, I have always worked towards something. There was always this question of 'whats next?' that has pushed me, guided me and forced me to choose paths. Be it my early days of school, where I had to work towards achieving good grades, be it the high school that made me want more and aim for better colleges, there has always been a target to achieve. Even after college, when I was employed, I was always a fish out of water, with me working to secure myself a college of great reputation for my higher studies. It was getting into the company of my dreams once I was in grad school, that became my target. Now that these things have been achieved, I am terribly confused. I feel like roaming around unknown territories, getting into uncharted waters,blindfolded. I think I need to be patient at this juncture.Once I take up new challenges arising out of my job and I think I can regain my normal self. Or is it that we have been brought up in this way, in a world full of competition that we tend to forget what we love and start loving what we do? This thought has been lingering in my mind, bothering me and would bother me,I suppose, until I realize what my next target, towards what that I need to work on. I pray, hopefully that this day comes soon.
